Athena

“He gave me marijuana at 12 years old. My dad basically said, ‘There's a lot of addicts in our family. I don’t want you to be an alcoholic like my mother, she was severely abusive. It's going to happen anyway, so why don't you go ahead and be addicted to marijuana.’

My father smoked a lot of weed. He claimed to love Jesus and be a Christian. My mother and father were married until I was about five. I had voids that I wanted to fill, but I didn't really realize it. I just wanted to have a buzz and not have to think about anything. I always felt very fatigued. I started doing drugs, besides marijuana, for energy.

I married my first husband, who was a police officer. I had my oldest daughter. I dropped out of nursing school. A friend of mine offered meth to me. I got hooked on it and lost a whole bunch of weight. I remember there was another officer that was friends with my ex-husband, he was saved and loved Jesus. I remember being on our knees in the street, giving our lives to Jesus. It was just said and done; there was no follow through. I felt Jesus, but I never really listened. I said I knew Jesus and loved Him, but I didn't have a relationship with Him. My ex-husband took my daughter and left me. I just went further down.

I got hooked on bath salts. I was shooting up and robbing people. I went to prison. I met my second husband in treatment. We were both using, doing that bath salt stuff. He had gotten into some trouble and the cops were looking for him. We took off on the run. A trucker and his wife wanted to help us, but really, they tried to seduce us. It was really scary. My head just started spinning. I cried out. I just went to my knees right there in their kitchen and prayed out loud to God. My husband was in the chair all messed up. I prayed for God to get us out of this; to fix our life so we could see our children again. I told my husband we had to face the consequences. The plan was to turn ourselves in. But of course, we both continued to get high and kept putting it off. Eventually we got in a big fight and the cops came. We were both arrested.

I agreed to go to Hannah's Ranch. I stayed there for about a month. I convinced my husband that I didn't need it anymore. I manipulated him into agreeing to that. I told him I'm going to leave and go somewhere else, so he came and I went back with him to his mom's house. I relapsed again. It all came to a head. I tried to kill myself. I took a whole bottle of muscle relaxers. I told him and he called the ambulance. I remember waking up in the ICU and he was there. He was the only one. None of my family came. He was ready to leave me the night before and he still came. I agreed to go to another faith-based program. I didn't even finish that one. I quit at nine months. I believed that I was better. I was forced to read the Bible. It was a chore to me. We were plugged into it. We went to church and everything. I felt the Holy Spirit a lot. I got closer to Jesus; it just really didn't soak in. There were a lot of seeds planted. 

If I hadn't relapsed, I certainly wouldn’t be where I’m at with Jesus right now. Romans 8:28 states: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I have a yearning for helping people in need. I’m now the Co-Director of Neighborhood Hope Dealer Ministries. We have a ministry program that takes people out of jail/prison or off the streets. We help them change their lives through Jesus Christ. If bad things are happening in your life, or you want your life to improve, just reach out to Jesus wholeheartedly. Reach out to God and ask Him for help. Just talk to Him. Believe that it's real and that He hears you, because He does. Your life will change! My name is Athena, I am human, and I surrender.”