Louis

"I somehow managed my off-the-rails life and my responsibilities at the same time, which is quite a dangerous combination of things to do. I tried marijuana for the first time at age 13 or 14. I was drunk for the first time at age 11 and became sexually involved. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 10.

I was 15 when I had my first encounter with God. I was baptized by the Holy Spirit and radically changed. I remember going back to the boarding school and people who saw me said, "Wow, you're shining! You look like an angel!" About a year later, for the stupidest of reasons, I decided to give it all up. I felt that I was praying for things that were meant to serve God. Because it wasn't happening, I started questioning things. I decided to separate myself from the Christian lifestyle. It was a very bad decision.  It took me until age 46 to turn that back around. That's the price I've paid for that bad decision I made at 16.  

I went into a career, and drugs came along—not the marijuana stuff.  It was something I bought into quite heavily. I had a fast-lane road into the elite group of drug users in the area. I was smoking crystal meth and decided that was what I wanted.  I continued smoking it on and off until age 46, along with other drugs and prostitutes. I lost all sense of self-control.  I picked up a gambling addiction as well, which was quite severe. I became a bit sick of myself.  I said to Sharika, ‘Listen, I can't do this anymore. I've had enough of myself and this lifestyle.’  By that time, it had been going on in different forms for about 30 years. I just had enough. It wasn’t just the drugs or gambling, it was everything.

I realized I wanted to give God some of myself, but not all of myself. I was just completely empty. I felt like an empty shell. There was nothing left of me. I felt like Jesus was telling me, "Are you finished now? Are you done now?" I just praised God! That was a miraculous and once-again immediate change. That’s the point at which I was able to start reaching out to God. That's when God was able to start working in me again.  I immediately started making more positive decisions, keeping myself 100% busy with God's stuff. I’ve been sober since September 2024, going on two years. I think it was a bigger shock for everybody else.

Every time there's friction with somebody, it reminds me of Jesus. It’s another situation where I can bear with someone in love. We need to constantly be aware of changing our mindset and reaching out to God. We need to seek Jesus in each one of those situations, bearing with each other.  Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” This verse stands out to me a lot because it talks about bearing with each other's faults because of God’s commanded love. Matthew 22:36-40. It's something that you have to work on constantly throughout your day.

As cliché as it might sound, there is no other way than to live a life with Jesus. There's such a fruitful life to live with Jesus by your side. It's exciting! It helps you grow in a positive way. You can actually feel good about yourself. You can be good to people around you. It's exciting to be able to work on yourself and your relationship with Jesus. I find happiness in that. I am Louis, I am human, and I surrender."

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