"One of the lowest moments of my life was when my father passed away. I was 23 years old. My anger was a secondary expression of fear. I had fear that manifested itself into anger. I wondered if I could trust God. Looking back now, I realize how immature I was in my faith. I decided to break up with God for a short period. I had a calling to work with orphans well before my dad died. I never had any adopted siblings and at the time had never been to an orphanage. I could not find peace without God. My return to God was about me telling Him, "I will follow you in my calling." It was like a magnet pulling me up. We have been in orphan care ministry for over 20 years and started Back2Back Ministries. Back2Back Ministries provides love and care for orphans all over the globe with about 250 staff worldwide. My husband and I have 10 children; three are biological, four are adopted, and three have aged out of foster-care that we consider them our own. Surrender is about not wanting to figure out what it is going to cost me before I tell God 'yes'. I have a lot of joy in the middle of my challenges. I am so grateful to have the Holy Spirit. I contrast my life with that 23-year-old girl who broke up with God and I now have a tremendous amount of peace that God is capable of anything. My name is Beth and I surrender."